What Are Self-Limiting Beliefs?
We all have some assumption and perceptions which we integrate in our belief system and further nurture them deeply. Eventually these thoughts become our belief system and unknowingly become a part of us.
However when there are some believes which limits our pace and range of abilities. They are strong enough to hold us back from achieving what we are truly capable. Such assumption could be termed as “self- limiting”.
What is a belief?
A belief is a feeling of certainty with some reason, and a strong story which we choose to tell ourselves all through our life unconsciously with some substantial proof to support it. Over a period of time we keep collecting heaps of proof as we keep searching for it to further validate our belief. These “self limiting” belief is self sabotaging.
If such believes has the power to limit our capacity, then it could play a vital role in nurturing as well. So we have the choice to either create opportunities or limitation for ourselves, with our powerful belief system.
How do they come?
These thoughts are those which we use to talk to our self. So they often come in our everyday language:
For example, “ I always need to struggle in life” “I am not a creative person”, “I am very bad at networking”, “I am not an entrepreneur material”, or “I can never be a good leader”
Our self limiting beliefs make every task as if we are pushing a big rock from our way. On the contrary when we have empowering believes, our journey to achieve them becomes effortless. It’s essential to become aware of what our beliefs are.
Which are those believes?
Human beings have a beautiful tool called “communication” and we use it to the fullest. Sometimes it could be difficult to identify these thoughts as we could package them very smartly. Few common human limiting believes are:
I don’t have time
It is said when we use a statement multiple time, our brain starts believing it even if it is false and responds accordingly. Then certainly it will be impossible for us to find time to do anything. A very common example is that we all have 24 hours however some of us achieve more than others.
Tool:
- Use a spreadsheet and closely write down your activities, pattern of behavior.
- You will notice self limiting behaviors and extra time for yourself.
I cant
This is the most common self limiting belief that has the power to tie us completely. Additionally we help ourselves by repeating the thought to make sure even our unconscious mind listens to it loud and clear.
Tool:
- Change the sentence you use to think:
- Instead keep it: “I am unable to do it right now”
I can’t because I am not
There are certain words in our vocabulary which helps us to identify our thoughts with our self better. Such believes are called identity belief and one such word in our vocabulary is “I”.
Tool:
- Re-framing is a great technique which could be used in this case
- Example: If we think that “I am not creative”. I could say “ I am creative as a Psychologist but not as a painter”.
I will be judged
We are often fearful of the thought “What people will say ?“ In these situations we focus more on our fear which overpowers us with showing us examples of more people judging us. Each time this thought comes, we must acknowledge that more often these are our own thoughts than other.
Tool:
- Ask a reflecting question: “Am I judging myself right now?”
- Redesign your thought and say: “Whatever is the outcome I am glad that I faced the situation and I deserve an acknowledgement of this.”
As a coach we work toward simplifying the complication of identifying limiting behavior in various day to day situations. Often it could be overwhelming to target your own self limiting belief as we identify too closely with them to view them as our limitation.
In Positive Psychology we use scientific tools to identify your strengths to handle this situation. These specific strengths are those, which will be the core tool in your “self devised action plan”. Sometimes even temporary suspension of a limiting belief is enough of a step forward to unblock the mind.
The PERMA model in positive psychology will enable you to identify the limiting behavior, stretch the boundaries imposed by limiting believes and will take you closer towards your goals/dreams.